Absolutely Positively True Fictional Autobiography Chapter 2

I wondered as I wandered out over the Serengeti how in the world did I get here and where was my spagetti? You see, I knew that when in the Serengeti you had to eat spagetti and when in the chapel you eat an apple. I have no place to eat oranges though…anyways at age 13 I was wandering the Serengeti trying to find a home because my leperchaun family kicked me out for being to tall. I came upon a mighty herd of ostriches.  I asked if they would allow me to live with them. They said yes but you have to be able to tap dance. Try as I might my tap dancing was not rythmetic and graceful as that of the ostrich herd…they told  me I sounded like a herd of elephants were living in my feet and sent me towards those massive animals next.

I asked the elephants if they would take me in but they to had a requirement. I had to be able to sing opera. Needless to say my opera was off key and they told me the apes would make a monkey out of me.

The monkeys cried you can be one of us if you can swing from a vine. I looked up to where they swung and took a gulp before grabbing a vine which moved as I yelped. “What’s going on? What’s happening to me?”

“You can’t swing on snakes you bee brained idiot!” The monkeys shouted. The snake struck my arm and I screamed loud and clear.

The last thing I heard was a whisper in my ear. “It’s time to start over with a new family my dear.” and I shrunk down to a child and my arm was healed. The swamp fairy took me to her home in the Everglades of Florida. I was deaged some more to that of a babe and given to a nice family as their own to raise. I grew up with the Overlords rulers of the swamp. They later had Midget and we grew up as best friends. And this is where the real fun begins.

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2 thoughts on “Absolutely Positively True Fictional Autobiography Chapter 2

  1. I just researched the monkeys in the serengeti and realized they don’t swing from vines but have decided to leave it seeing as elephants don’t normally sing opera and ostriches don’t tapdance.Except mine.

  2. Haha, that’s brilliant, Ren! I like all of the animal antics, and I’m wondering if that’s how I came into my overlord’s family… It seems to make sense 😉

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