Dog vs Apple Part 3

When we last left my dog and Ren’s apple, Ren’s apple had hired the Inhuman and Sorcerer’s Apprentice Talon to blow up my dog’s (and NASA’s lunar base (along with its awesome army of robots) Will my dog survive? Will Ren’s apple tree mutate, grow legs, and dance over my dog’s remains? Will I introduce another character from a favorite book? If I don’t find time to write the world may never know…

As the lunar dust settled on a permanently crescent moon, Ren’s apple tree looked up and laughed, it’s foe seemingly vanquished. However, unbeknownst to it, my heroic dog, seeing what was coming alerted the innocent astronaughts to return to Earth. The humans saved my dog teams up with Monkey to devise devilish plans to annihilate your apple!

My tree, shocked that your dog still lives, makes a deal with the cunning Loki and his half-dead daughter Hel to revive my dead apples as rotten zombie dog-eating apples!! 🙂

My dog and his good friend Monkey, have a hasty conference. Five seconds later, Monkey races away, Returning an hour later he dumps apple eating worms upon your hapless apples! When the apples are gone my worms eye your tree while my dog and Monkey egg them on.

My tree waves a branch triggering an electric forcefield preventing your evil worms from coming near it. Then, my tree hurls out ninja apples who squash your millicient worms and brutalize your dumb dog.

Monkey seeing my dog’s plight takes a break from taunting Loki to cheerfully bake a ninja apple pie, which he proceeds to throw in Loki’s face.

Loki’s snake son Jormungard (aka Jay) eats Monkey before returning to Hel’s domain. My tree hangs you dog.

Now, is my dog hanging on your tree, or another tree? And is he hung as a picture or as an outlaw? Because, you know, outlaws usually get rescued…Now Monkey, indestructible Monkey, uses his banana phone to call some old mongoose pals of his to come and rescue him. Poor Jay doesn’t stand a chance. Rescued, Monkey and his army set out to rescue my dog from the Tree of Wisdom which your apple tree mistook for the Tree of Death. (Dont feel bad-anyone can make that mistake). Now if you’ll recall, this is that tree Odin hung himself on to gain knowledge and wisdom. My dog after Monkey rescued and revived him in a good old fashioned shoot out (like any wild west story would have) now has as much wisdom and knowledge as Odin! Ha!

My apple tree knocks your dog’s head in and gives it brain damage. Not so smart now! Ha!

No fair! Neither your apples nor you apple tree have a brain! After my dog had an emergency skull reinflating he hired the media to talk about how evil your apple and apple tree are. Now your tree has been declared a public enemy!

My apple revels in being a public enemy and goes to Arkham and frees the inmates. With its newfound pals he plots his next move to torture your dog.

My dog, knowing that three heads are better than two (as two heads are better than one) contacts Einstein and has a brief council of war with himself, Monkey, and Einstein in attendence. They agree that the best plan of attack is to nuke your apple tree. So, while Monkey spies on your tree to obtain it’s position, my dog is off to infiltrate various government buildings to obtain the “Launch” button for the nukes. Einstein simply makes a radiation containment dome so that the rest of the Earth would still be livable.

My apple was lured into the containment dome and the doors were sealed. Einstein’s nuke was a new and improved bubble nuke! “Taste the power of the bubble!” Einstein yelled. The bubble flew out at my apple. My apple took Einstein’s unwitten advice and ate the bubble. Then, with a mighty BURP! My apple destroyed the done and escaped to plot another day but now he was armed with the Power of the Bubble!! 🙂

Sorry to urst your bubble, but my dog, seeing that Einstein had abandoned his just cause by staying true to his pacifist principle, set down and thought but, however, he kept on getting distracted by Loki and Monkey arguing over who was more mischevious. My dog and said that he bet that great finder though Monkey was, he wouldn’t be able to find a jar of antimatter for him. Monkey, highly indignant, immediately goes to find a jar of antimatter. Returning a few hours later my dog is handed a small negating the power of the bubble. My dog’s minions then fell upon your powerless apple tree! Ha!

Joker, my apple’s friend from Arkham, sets his heyena’s on your dog. With an evil cackle they rip your dog into bite-sized pieces and have a doggone good feast! I win!


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